Finding your own, unique talents is to become truly joyous.

Hi, my name is Erik Stout and with Jolly Equilibrium I wish to share and gain knowledge, experiences, awareness, and inspiration to find balance, joy, and zest for life.

A considerable part of my life was spent sleepwalking, which meant that there was little balance. Yet I was oblivious about it, because from about the age of roughly 18 I had a firm conviction that the world was known and nothing could surprise me anymore. My ego developed into an impregnable fortress without realizing that it was becoming a self-made prison.

As a child, however, I was a jolly little fellow, and that jolly undercurrent has always remained. Partly because of that, it was possible to move to introspection when at some point it seemed as if all the ground beneath my feet was disappearing into an endless abyss. That marked the beginning of a journey in which the magic of life is increasingly discovered and experienced; a journey that continues to this day. Not an easy journey, but the only one that is worth undertaking, in my opinion.

In the meantime I go through life as a swimming, drumming, physiotherapy-ing, dancing, massaging, acting, teaching, reading, writing, storytelling, traveling, tai chi-ing, and ever learning, student of life. Where possible I share knowledge and experiences of all these arts and skills through stories on this website, and hopefully soon also by means of other (digital) channels.

In the context of sharing experiences and inspiration, below I’ll describe in more detail which steps have been taken in my journey to introspection. Thanks for your visit, and feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, ideas, or other feedback.

Jolly greetings,
Erik

The journey to introspection and discovering my unique talents began in 2006…

Up until and beyond that turnaround, I had been riveted to the belief that I would become a rich and famous drummer. The observant reader will immediately notice the difference between a desire to make music professionally and my personal desire, which was largely based on a deep-seated fear that I could not provide for myself. The idea of ​​wealth gave a false sense of security, so the belief served as a foothold and comfort. During the active years in music, I had the opportunity to tour and record with many fantastic artists and bands and have created wonderful memories, but fame and fortune did not come. In retrospect, that was just as well.

With the fading of the musical dream and the already started self-examination, space was created for discovering new avenues. My ex generously gave me a workshop Nuad Bo Rarn (Thai style) Yoga Massage. That turned out to become a transformative experience, because not only did I find it magical to learn how to perform massage, but everyone I had asked as a practice model wanted to come back! Then it suddenly became clear that I had something in my fingers which not only gave energy to me, but could also function for the benefit of others. Hence my wish to develop that further.

That almost automatically led to physiotherapy college. As a rather recalcitrant youngster, studying after high school was not an option, but at 38 there was enough peace, openness and curiosity to begin a study. The anatomy and physiology lessons became a fascinating journey through the human body and my classmates were fantastic mirrors, making the three years we shared the classroom together feel like weekly group therapy sessions. The four years literally flew by.

Since physiology and psychology cannot be regarded separately as they’re two sides of the same coin, after my physiotherapy training I enthusiastically delved into literature relating to human thought and behaviour. What an inexhaustible treasure chest opened up there, leading from history to art, from mythology to fairy tales and folklore, from religion to psychoanalysis, from archaeology to philosophy, from linguistics to cybernetics, from psychiatry to anthropology, from cosmology to quantum physics, and from natural sciences to psycho-neuro-immuno-endocrinology (there’s a scrabble word for ya). Knowing now that in learning we can never be done, I can enjoy it much more and every new page contains the possibility of that wonderful feeling of a big light bulb turning on above the head.

However, I could not settle in the physiotherapy work field. While I was stimulated to think and develop outside the box during my training, the healthcare system offered little more than the feeling of being put in a straitjacket on a conveyor belt. Moreover, things like the status of the patient and job satisfaction of the physiotherapist dangled somewhere at the bottom of the list of important things, while the most important thing was whether the paperwork for the health insurance company was in order. It was the world upside-down.

These and many more ‘abuses’ made working within that system impossible for me, so I got out and ended up at the then newly started Massage Minds in Amstelveen. That became a wonderful adventure with magical clients and colleagues. Through them I was once again allowed to make great strides in the self-examination process and the realization began to dawn that every human contact, no matter how short or long it lasts, is always special for many reasons.

This also applied to my period as a teacher of anatomy & physiology at the Samsara Yoga Teacher Training. Again a magical adventure in which the dynamics of teaching and the interaction with students and colleagues provided many educational, insightful and beautiful moments.

My marriage ended in 2020. That led to having to start a household on my own for the first time in my life – at the age of 45. I was literally terrified of this, because: could I take care of myself? In addition, all the stigmas of the failed middle-aged man in a pathetic mobile home thundered over me like an avalanche. Yet that step was exactly what was necessary for further growth and development.

The first two weeks I didn't dare go to sleep without playing a lecture by Alan Watts on my mobile phone. Until suddenly, out of nowhere, a turning point came and I dramatically said to the universe, with sweeping gestures: “Bring it on then! If there are demons, let's greet them like old friends.” And yes, they came, the demons, but also gnomes, elves, and fairies; knights and warriors; gods and goddesses, and many more protectors who helped me get through a mega-difficult time.

The relaxation that arose with the disappearance of the fear of my own demons is indescribable, and provided an incredible boost in self-confidence. That led to the decision in 2023 to temporarily leave everything behind in the Netherlands for an eleven-month Tai Chi training in a traditional Shaolin in China. At the same time, this website was started in which stories have been published weekly for more than a year now, to inspire and entertain anyone who is interested.