Freedom Is Loving What You Do
Freedom is not doing what you love, but loving what you do!
Reading time: 13 minutes
Freedom is loving what you do. Image: Myriams-Fotos
It is no secret that the ability to determine our own life is conducive to happiness and health. And just as we don’t expect a rosebush to grow tulips, or an apple tree to grow passion fruit, we shouldn’t expect each other – or ourselves – to be something that we’re not. Nevertheless, that’s exactly what we’re doing; for instance, we have come to regard it perfectly normal that many of us are performing vocations for which we are not suited at all, either physically, mentally, or both.
In sports, by contrast, we generally encourage each other more to be who we are (except for the poor nerdy bugger whose dad wanted to become the next Babe Ruth, and failed). What that means, is that we actually attribute different sports to different types of human beings. We don’t expect Michael Jordan to win the Tour De France, as much as we don’t expect Lance Armstrong to guide the Chicago Bulls to NBA championships. Each has a perfect blueprint for their own sport, which means by default that they don’t have a perfect blueprint for the sport of the other.
Lance Armstrong & Michael Jordan.
Jordan and Armstrong came into a life situation for which their individual psycho-physical makeup (i.e. mind and body) was perfectly equipped. Thus, their efforts were meaningful, sensible, and, inevitably, enjoyable;[1] exactly the traits necessary to perform great work. It is as Steve Jobs said:
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.”
Yet, in this article we are predominantly interested in how to get into a state of mind in which even daily menial tasks, like laundry or doing dishes, are as much loved and enjoyed as a job that suits our psycho-physical makeup perfectly. Therefore, let’s begin by elaborating on the title of this article: ‘freedom is loving what you do’.
The great majority of our waking hours are filled with doing something. Especially we, in the West, have become so extremely active, that we collectively seem to have forgotten how our body feels when it’s completely relaxed (not even to mention our minds). That is largely a result of the widespread adoption of Protestantism, and especially Calvinism, by the Bourgeoisie in Northwest Europe and the United Kingdom.
At first, the Protestant Reformation of the 16th and 17th centuries was a revolt against the corruption and power of the Catholic Church. However, both the clergy and nobility of Northwest Europe were already losing power and influence quickly to wealthy merchants and industrialists of the Hansa cities forming the Hanseatic League. Business became the new religion and everlasting growth its creed, therefore it became important to increase production on a large scale, hence busy-ness.
Mediaval workers playing the role that most of us still play today, that of exploited peasant. Image found on brewminate.com
But, depending on the source, medieval workers enjoyed anything between 60 and 110 holidays per year. That was a thorn in the side of the merchants and industrialists, who were of the opinion that they were losing out on every missed day of work by their labour force. Imagine their joy when comes along John Calvin, stating that hard work is a virtue, that idle hands are the devil’s playthings, and that holidays ought to be significantly reduced. Therefore it comes as no surprise that the bourgeoisie, the up-and-coming ruling class, gladly adopted this new form of Protestantism, and did everything in its power to convince the populace of its virtues.
History has proven their unequivocal success, the results of which we still see all around us. Because even though we have had the technology to enjoy a 15 hour workweek already since the 1970’s, many still work between 50 and 80 hour work weeks on a regular basis. If that aptly describes our current work situation, and the work itself is anything but satisfactory because our particular psycho-physical makeup is not equipped for it, the only way to keep on doing it, without going completely bonkers, is to attach value and meaning to being such a diligent and hard worker. But such a situation comes at a price, because instead of producing healthy and joyful individuals, most of them will inevitably turn into directionless and miserable souls.
Nevertheless, that raises the following question: Are we not free to leave a job, or any life situation for that matter, that doesn’t fit our particular blueprint? Well, that’s a tricky question. Because, yes, of course reason tells us that we may, but the question whether or not we can is being played out on an entirely different field, namely that of emotions. Moreover, psycho-analyst Erich Fromm states in The Art of Listening, that, despite our obvious choice in any life situation to go this way or that, our widespread belief in a complete freedom of choice is not just an illusion, but actually limits our ability to choose dramatically.[2]
Contrary to popular belief, too much choice actually has a detrimental effect on a healthy ability to choose. As with everything, balance is found when there’s enough choice to provide a feeling of having accomplished something, but not so much that after every purchase we end up with a nagging feeling of having been ripped off. Image found on thriveglobal
In the physical realm, for instance, since we’re lacking wings or gills, we have only limited dwelling options on our planet; even more so because we’re not very well adapted to survive in extreme weather conditions.
We also don’t have complete individual freedom of choice mentally, because, according to Fromm, our past, our construction (i.e. blueprint), and the situation in which we were born and raised, drastically limit it. He elaborates on this point with a story of Johnny, who, from an early age, allows himself to be ‘bribed’ by his parents (especially in making him do what they want him to do).[3]
Fromm describes three examples of familial bribery to demonstrate how a child’s ‘free’ psyche is increasingly restricted by the repeated acceptance of bribes.
As a Catholic boy, Johnny played with a Protestant friend. At one point, his mother bribed him:
“It’s really better for you to not play with your friend anymore, but shall we go to the fair tonight?”
At first, Johnny protests and says he likes playing with his friend, but after a while, he accepts the invitation to the fair in exchange for not hanging out with his friend anymore. That is his first mistake, his first loss. In his own will, his own integrity, something is now broken. Here, the process of restricting his freedom of choice has begun.
Ten years later, Johnny falls in love. His parents, however, do not think the girl is appropriate for him at all. Yet, instead of saying that it is out of the question, as would have been the case in the past, now the manipulation card is played:
“She is a really sweet girl, but you have very different backgrounds and to make each other happy you both have to have the same background...but of course it is completely your choice to marry her if you really want to. But you know, why don’t you go to a city of your choice for a year and think about it, and if you come back and you still want to marry her, then marry her.”
Johnny accepts. That is his second mistake, his second loss. However, it was less difficult to make this ‘choice’ because Johnny had already made the first mistake (and a series of smaller ones), which made him think he was getting the best of both worlds: a year of travel and marrying his beloved - a promise that was of course wrapped in the message: “You can travel and marry the girl.” However, the moment he accepts the plane ticket - the bribe - he has already given up on the girl, without knowing it. At first he writes beautiful love letters, but that wears off after a few months.
Inevitably the girl at some point understands that Johnny’s ‘distractions’ during his trip are way too interesting to give up, therefore she’ll most likely give him up to prevent further emotional pain. Image found on smart-alarms.shop
Then, at 23, Johnny goes to college. He wants to become an architect and has been interested in architecture his whole life, so he insists on studying architecture. However, his father, the owner of a successful law firm, wants Johnny to become a lawyer and study law. So he works on his sense of guilt:
“You know my heart’s already not in the best shape, so who’s going to take care of your mother and the business when I’m gone? Why do you have to go on about this architecture business and let us down like that, after all we’ve done for you? And how much do you even make as an architect anyway?”
Johnny puts up some feeble kind of a struggle, but eventually gives in. He will probably get a nice car from his father, but it is never said that something is expected in return for the bribe. That is precisely what makes it a bribe, as opposed to a regular transaction. For as Fromm aptly points out: once you accept a bribe, you must deliver!
That is the moment, Fromm states, when Johnny is checkmated:
“He's sold himself out completely, lost his pride, his self-respect, his integrity. He does something he doesn't like and will probably do it for the rest of his life, then probably marries a woman he doesn't really love, and his life most likely descends into ultimate boredom and resentment.”
It is, therefore, no wonder that we are incessantly being bombarded with mindless news and entertainment, and avalanches of commercials and advertisements, because we need distraction from the frustration and meaninglessness of feeling like a square peg that tries to endlessly squeeze itself through a round hole. But the sustainability of such distractions can only last so long. When the so called pleasures have all become worn out, predictable, and thus boring, the next distraction will inevitably have to take place in the realm of pain, of which the brutalities in the Colosseum in Rome were a direct result. Moreover, I believe this to be one of the reasons why many contemporary Western European political leaders seem to be in favour of a complete senseless war with Russia – just like large parts of the political and academic classes of Western Europe thought it was just a swell idea to start the First World War.[4]
In order to keep the populace distracted, the acts in the Colosseum became more depraved and brutal as a result of habituation to ‘old’ acts. Image: waldomiguez
Before moving on to the positive stuff, there’s one more characteristic to cover that’s not helpful in creating circumstances to start loving what we do; and that is our system of rewards and punishments.
Broadly speaking, we get rewarded for a job well done, and we’re being punished when we make mistakes. Yet, we all know that learning is only possible through making mistakes. So, if we punish each other for making mistakes, particularly by means of naming and shaming; or, which is at least as harmful, if we fervently try to prevent each other from making mistakes, we’re effectively robbing ourselves from our ability to learn. If that becomes deeply ingrained in our psyche, there’s a good chance we will feel like caged animals for the rest of our lives: terrified of making mistakes, and when we do, lacking the learning ability to change course in the future.
Thus, to regain the freedom to love what we do, let’s distinguish areas over which we have little freedom of choice from areas over which we have, arguably, complete freedom of choice.
Our external world, which is everything outside of our body, is an area over which we have very little control. For instance, roughly 95% of information from the outside world that enters us via our sense organs, is outside of our control. Think of sights, sounds, temperatures, and smells, in any kind of environment: we pick them up, whether we want to or not, and our brain has to process it into something mentally digestible.
Our internal world, our own body and mind, is a different matter altogether. According to the contemporary sage Sadhguru:
“What comes our way is largely not determined by us, but how we handle whatever comes our way, is 100% ours!”
In other words, nobody but you should be able to make you happy, angry, sad, joyful, or freak you out. Your life is about you, therefore what happens within you, should be of your making, not anyone else’s. Once others have the power to determine how we feel and what we think and do, we have become their slave and prisoner.
Gautama the Buddha found out for himself that whatever came his way, whatever situation he found himself in, how he handled it was 100% of his own making. After this realisation, he went on to teach the Dharma until he died. Image: Alexis
All good and well, but for lack of an internal mood-switch, we’ve all experienced the unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings when our buttons were pushed. We can tell ourselves that we’ll never become angry again until we see blue in the face, but an important lesson from Johnny’s story is that, as small children, we’re more or less helpless against parental bribery (intentional or not), which has a large impact on our emotional development and freedom of choice later in life. Moreover, by the time we’ve figured out what’s going on, many of us feel to have turned into the proverbial old dog who can’t be taught new tricks anymore. Effectively that means for Johnny that his parents can push his buttons more and more often and easy, because deep down he knows full well that he’s been tricked.
Unfortunately, many who are in a similar situation tend to resign to their fate. Therefore, since there is always a choice, let’s return to Fromm’s Art of Listening to create a point of departure from where we can begin the road to mastery of our own emotional state of being. We’ll start with his description of the phenomenon of ‘transference’, and go on from there:
“Transference expresses a need of a person to have somebody else who takes over the responsibility (over one’s life – ed.), who is a mother, who gives unconditional love, or who is a father who praises and punishes, and admonishes and teaches. --- If you want to understand the need for such people whom we consider as the guides, as the protectors, as the gods and goddesses, it is not enough to think merely of childhood. We have to consider the whole human situation in which the human being is so helpless, so confused to a large extent by the misinformation (s)he gets about life through her/his culture, so frightened, so uncertain, that it is a general human longing to have somebody (else) whom we can choose as our idol, to whom we can say: “You are my god or goddess.” This is the person who loves me, who guides me, who rewards me, because I cannot stand of myself.”
As Sadhguru already pointed out: as soon as we have made someone else responsible for our feelings, emotions, and state of being, we have become their prisoner and slave. That is why Fromm states that the beginning of emotional development and spiritual growth, lies in the fact (& act) of becoming free. Effectively that means:
“Liberation begins with liberation from parents.”
The obvious question arising from that statement, then, becomes: How do we know if we are liberated from our parents? Three factors make that clear:
When we no longer need their approval for our decisions;
When there is no longer any fear of their opinions;
When we no longer do things to defy them, because then their opinions still matter to us.
The questions we need to ask ourselves to know whether or not we are liberated from our parents (or others), are thus:
Do I still need approval from my parents (or others) for my decisions?
Do I still fear the opinions of my parents (or others) on whatever I decide and do?
Do I still actively try to defy my parents (or others) in any way, shape, or form?
If any of these questions are answered affirmative, that means we’re still tied to them with a psychological umbilical cord (aka ethereal cord). And then the same rule applies as with a physical umbilical cord: if it’s not cut at the moment when it’s supposed to, at some point it turns into a ball and chain, imprisoning us emotionally, and preventing us from maturing into a balanced, joyful, and free human being.
An image of ethereal cords, which, if they’re not cut when they’re supposed to, can imprison and enslave us to the person(s) we’re still in this way connected to. Image found on: valeriemoonhealing.com
However, when we have matured into a situation where we no longer need approval from others for our decisions, and if we don’t fear their opinions anymore on whatever we think, decide, and do, we obviously have come to trust our own nature enough to have faith in our own ability to make the right decisions, at the right time, in every life situation.
As soon as we have obtained faith in our ability to make the right decisions for ourselves in any kind of situation, that is, without anxiety for, or need of, outside approval, we are well underway to create a situation where we naturally begin to love what we do, because we have then created space for ourselves in which we can explore any urges and tendencies that emerge from our unconscious. That’s an important and necessary prerequisite in order to find our unique talents and innate predispositions, which, when we can develop, cultivate, and integrate them into our lives, have the capacity to make our lives both meaningful and joyous.
Moreover, since the act of cutting an umbilical cord can be regarded as a form of detachment, we immediately discover that a healthy detachment in every sphere of life actually has the potential to change our basic state of being from anxious to joyous; which is by default the case when the faith in our ability to think and decide for ourselves has become fully integrated. That has a big impact on the way we perceive the world, for it makes a huge difference if we do whatever we do from a basic state of anxiety or joy; and in case of the latter, it’s almost impossible to not enjoy one’s actions. That is one of the reasons why many philosophical and religious texts proclaim that the highest wisdom lies in detachment.
To bring that final point home, Alan Watts argues in Become What You Are, that:
“Detachment means to have neither regrets for the past nor fears for the future; to let life take its course without attempting to interfere with its movement and change.”
In practice, that means that we are able to fully enjoy pleasant moments when they happen, without wasting energy on wishing that they would never end; and that we are able to accept unpleasant moments when they happen, without wasting energy on resisting them and wishing them to end as soon as possible. Watts continues:
“To do this is to move in time with life, to be in perfect accord with its changing music, and this is called Enlightenment.”
I call it: Freedom.
Jolly greetings,
Erik Stout
[1] Which is not to say that they had no hurdles or hardships to overcome.
[2] A point that is wonderfully brought home in The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less by Barry Schwartz.
[3] This example serves as an illustration of how parents, even if they have the best intentions, can unknowingly harm their offspring; particularly when they have been ‘bribed’ by their own parents. Naturally, and thankfully, this excludes the millions of homes where parents are both mentally and physically available for their children.
[4] “Einstein was one of the few exceptions who refused to endorse the war (WWI), but the vast majority of German and French intellectuals approved of the war.” Erich Fromm – The Art of Listening
Moreover, the self-enrichment of British upper classes and upper military ranks during WWI is well known, well documented, and brilliantly parodied by the series Blackadder Goes Forth.
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