A New Challenge (16)
Getting To Know Yourself Through Discovering, Developing, Cultivating, & Integrating, Your Own Talents
Reading time: 9 minutes
The book reflects our universal, intrinsic wisdom, while all the colors reflect the diversity of all the individual talents that different people are born with. Image: 1tamara2
The theme of this article is close to my heart, which is why attention will be paid to it again in a short time, although now from a more personal, practical and experience-oriented approach.
1. Discovering your own, unique, and innate, talents
How do we discover the talents and predispositions we are born with? How can we discover whether our blueprint leans towards technology, archaeology, healthcare, urban cleaning, accountancy, sports, art, water management, self-examination, or any other field that people are involved in? And where can we find clues that will help us on our way? We will address these questions below by reflecting on how this works within my process.
2. How do we discover the talents and aptitudes we are born with?
Based on my own experience, it can generally be said that an activity or area of interest fits my specific blueprint, if a lot of time and attention is devoted to it on my own initiative, without it yielding direct financial, material or social gain.
Let us analyse how that worked in my particular life process until the present moment.
From ages 8 – 16, competitive swimming was a popular activity. Training happened five days a week before school (06:00-07:00 AM) and a regional training on Saturday morning, plus one or two competitions per weekend. In the beginning, mom came along to the training, but with the transition to secondary school, the swimtraining was also visited independently and by bicycle. From ages 16-22, swimming transitioned into waterpolo.
Between ages 10 – 12, my memory fails me a bit here, there was a membership of a chess club. The rook diploma was still obtained, but after that I dropped out. Later it becomes clear why.
Then, from ages 8 – 18, there were weekly drum lessons and twice a week practice at home, and between the ages of 12 & 38, there was collaboration with various bands and artists. Some money was made with this, but financially the music always cost much more than it brought in, and it was never enough to make a living out of it.
However, neither swimming, nor the chess and music activities needed external encouragement.
While playing gigs, I was often compared to this hero of mine: Animal from The Muppet Show.
A personal crisis in 2011 led to a tai chi DVD by David Dorian Ross. In it, he taught the qigong form ‘ba duan jin’ (eight pieces of silk) and a short tai chi form (yang style) with 8 movements. These were learned and, with great pleasure, performed several times a week, until my departure for China in 2023.
Said crisis led to a period of about ten years of jogging; roughly 10 to 12 kilometres, two to three times a week. First through Rotterdam, which allowed me to get to know the city in a really cool way; and later through the forests of Driebergen and Zeist.
In the same period, my ex gave me a Thai Yoga Massage workshop as a present. Both the activity and the type of people met there were very appealing, and the first course was started immediately afterwards. A massage mat was purchased and everyone was welcome to come along as a guinea pig. On my own initiative, a lot of time and space was made available for course evenings and practicing at home.
The love for massage grew quickly and the desire to become more proficient in it was a logical consequence. The training as a physiotherapist was a next step, where it was discovered how incredibly happy I was to absorb knowledge of human anatomy, physiology, and pathology. At the beginning of the training, those around me were told that I would be absent for the next four years, which clearly showed the intrinsic motivation to devote a lot of time and attention to college. The feeling that the four years flew by as if it were a day, indicates how much pleasure and satisfaction the training eventually brought.
Providing massage therapy at Massage Minds in Amstelveen.
The psychology part of the training, however, was negligible to my taste. That, combined with a rapidly growing urge to get to know my own psyche better (because, in short, I was fed up with constantly feeling like a ball in a fast-flowing mountain stream), led to an extensive self-study into all possible literature that could shed light on our human thinking and behaviour.
I love reading and am still in the process of said self-study, simply because I find it incredibly fascinating to learn which (kind of) people and circumstances can push my buttons. The value of this is clear: the better we know who or what can push our buttons, the greater the pause we can create between stimulus and response, and the greater the choice in how we respond to a certain stressful situation (i.e. instead of primarily responding with frustration, anger, or fear; first channelling the anger, frustration, or fear, before actually giving an outward response).
Speaking of studying, at the end of the physiotherapy internship year I had already realized that the physiotherapy field in the healthcare system was a toxic work environment for me. While most vacancies opened with: “Enthusiastic and independent physiotherapist wanted!”, I had already experienced that the ‘independent’ mainly consisted of independently ensuring that the administration for the health insurer was in order, but that there was little or no attention for the patient's process or the physiotherapist's job satisfaction. That was extremely depressing, after which my ex suggested that I take a break and find out what I wanted.
That eventually became a three-month trip through India and Thailand, during which I consciously asked myself the following question: “Now that I am going to an environment where no one expects anything from me, or the other way around; what am I going to do?” Within three days, writing began. Online courses were downloaded and a travel blog saw the light of day. That turned into cautious first steps towards journalling; an activity that gained momentum from mid-2017 (and of which this website is a direct result).
Journalling in Chiang Mai. Image: Erik Stout
At the end of 2017, Massage Minds in Amstelveen came into the picture. In terms of travel time, that meant: a fifteen-minute bike ride to Driebergen-Zeist train station, a train ride to Amsterdam-Zuid, and from there a fifteen-minute bike ride to Amstelveen city center. Total travel time: one and a half hours there and one and a half hours back (if the trains ran on time). Yet there was not a single day in which I travelled to Amstelveen with reluctance; I enjoyed cycling, the train was generally pleasant (admittedly, outside rush hour), and massaging nothing short of magical. Moreover, with massage, an activity had been discovered that not only made enough money to live on, but also to save enough to travel to China to learn tai chi & qigong.
Finally, at the end of 2019, Samsara Yoga Teacher Training came my way, where I was allowed to teach anatomy, physiology & pathology until leaving for China. Again, it was no effort to spend a lot of time and attention preparing the lessons, and I was allowed to discover how much fun and energy teaching provided.
Reflecing on the above, where the love for cross-country skiing, skiing and dancing has not even been mentioned, then a trend becomes visible of what suits my organism, what makes me happy and gives energy. On the one hand, this can be roughly described as certain forms of physical and mental movement, and on the other hand, the wish to be valuable to others in a certain way.
Skiing through the Norwegian forests, around age 11.
3. How can we learn to discover and recognize our tendencies?
In my case, there is a clear distinction between internal tendencies and external clues that turn into tendencies.
Internal tendencies refer to tendencies from our subconscious. The tendency arises, such as the tendency to start drumming for instance, without knowing exactly where that tendency comes from. External clues that turn into tendencies, on the other hand, refer to clues that we receive from others, for example the massage workshop as a gift from my ex, after which the tendency arises to continue with that.
From internal tendencies I took up drumming, tai chi, jogging, chess, studying, and writing.
From external clues the tendency arose to take up swimming, waterpolo, massage, study physiotherapy, teach anatomy & physiology, and a rigorous self-study was initiated.
Below are some examples of tendencies that arose and were set in motion by external clues.
As a kid I was a recreational swimmer. My talent was noticed by a coach of the competitive team who invited me to a training, after which the tendency arose to continue with it.
The ability to swim and feel the weightlessness in the water, is always a true joy. Image: Pixabay
By chance I ended up at Massage Minds. The owner had learned Thai Yoga Massage at the same institute as me, and from them an email was received that Massage Minds had just opened its doors and was looking for people. That struck a chord and I called the owner. The rest is, as they say, history.
During my crisis in 2011, the desire to study surfaced from an internal tendency. I began studying European Studies, until it quickly became clear that lobbying was not a talent nor did it make me happy. After that, I looked for massage courses, but it was again my ex who showed me the way, this time towards the training to become a physiotherapist; that is why I attribute that choice to an external clue.
The director of Samsara Yoga Teacher Training turned out to be an old classmate from high school. She had heard that I had completed the training to become a physiotherapist, and asked if I would come and replace the outgoing anatomy & physiology teacher.
The anatomy and physiology lessons ultimately became a fascinating journey through my own body, and it is a privilege to be able to pass on this knowledge. Image: DangrafArt
My rigorous self-study was indirectly caused by a remark from one of my internship supervisors during the physiotherapy training. Somewhere during that internship I had made the choice to spend most of my time on an external project for about a month. My internship suffered because of that, and that was the feedback I received from the supervisor. In the next internship report, I reflected so deep about how my choices had come about and what I had left out of consideration (which had blurred my priorities) that he jokingly said:
“You are way too good at reflecting, you don't need to go so deep.”
That comment stuck and was an external clue that, less than two years later, (partly) prompted the conscious studying of myself, which is still in full swing.
4. There is a catch
A catch is of course the question which tendencies and clues we follow and which we do not. The only answer I can give to that is: try it out if it feels good. The worst that can happen is that you have less talent or affinity for a certain tendency than you thought. My tendency for chess, for example, arose because my favourite uncle and cousin were both skilled chess players. They often played that game with me and I wanted to become as good as them. However, the reason why they were good at it and I dropped out, was because my uncle was a math teacher and my cousin's talents were also in the abstract realm; talents very fitting for the game of chess, but which were lacking completely in my organism.
5. A new tendency emerges
Through much reading and working on weekly articles and tai chi instruction videos, as well as the reflection described above, a new tendency is emerging. It was sparked early last year by an external clue (in the form of a question) and has not only stuck, but has continued to develop in the background.
The tendency consists of the desire to make a valuable contribution to let people discover, develop, and cultivate, their own unique talents, and subsequently integrate them into their daily lives. This website is already a first expression thereof, and the tai chi videos a second, but in addition a third form is slowly emerging in the frontal lobe. That form concerns a physical place, which is mainly characterized by the fact that it is a safe place where people can step outside their comfort zone in a playful manner. The goal is that they learn to recognize clues and learn to sense their own tendencies, so that they can at least make a conscious choice whether or not to follow a certain tendency.
Vision gives direction to a plan and mission indicates how it will be implemented. Image: geralt
In the past months, both a vision and mission statement have been developed and are almost ready to be published on this website. In addition, some rough sketches have already been made regarding the shape of the building, and both the content and the preferred location have already been determined. These steps are necessary to be able to take the next one: to convert the ideas and drawings into a plan, so that research can be done into what is needed to convert the plan into an emotionally and spiritually valuable, financially healthy, and tangible place.
6. Just go and play
When we set out on the path to discover our unique talents and innate dispositions, we simultaneously set out on the path to get to know ourselves better. As confronting as that may sometimes be, over time a certain degree of relaxation will arise that will take the place of, for example, the many forms of blame or self-blame. The greater the relaxation, the greater the realization that making mistakes is not only not bad, but necessary if we ever want to learn anything; ergo, the easier it becomes to follow certain tendencies without expectations, and just go ahead and try things out. Therefore, the final advice of this article, is:
Give yourself time to just go and play!
Playing is delightful. Will you join? Image: Erik Stout
I hope this article has in any way been valuable or beneficial to you, and wishing you a wonderful day.
Jolly greetings,
Erik Stout