Know Our Self
Reading time: 9 minutes
An image of Self by qimono
‘What do we look like before we are born?’ is a famous Zen-Buddhist koan; an incomprehensible and nonsensical question designed to open our mind to the reality that we are life itself. That is to say, we are as much a part of the process called life as everything there is, and to regard ourselves as outside or above it, only leads to frustration and suffering – as is shown by the following tale:
Once upon a time, a little boy was playing in the yard when he saw a grasshopper moving about very slowly.
“What is wrong with you?” asked the boy.
“A pebble fell out of the sky and onto my leg,” answered the grasshopper, “and because my leg hurts I cannot move very fast.”
Thereupon the boy grabbed the grasshopper and began to tear off its leg.
“Ouch! Stop, please! Why are you doing that?”
“Well, if I take your sore leg off, you won’t feel pain anymore, right?”
“But now you are making the pain even worse, and without my leg I can’t walk! Please stop that and put me down!”
“No, I really think it’s much better for you if we take your legs off. Now please hold still for a moment and let me do my job.”
How would we feel if we were the grasshopper? Most likely we would disagree as much to the boys actions. Yet this is what we westerners do to each other, animals, and nature, all of the time. As soon as we have convinced ourselves to know what’s best for another,[1] we immediately disregard all reason and stuff whatever we deem necessary down the other’s throat. Moreover, whatever the other might want or need is then completely ignored, just like any other potentially detrimental consequences. How did we get there? And what can be done to regain reason and thereby our humanity?
When our mental faculties developed beyond the point of merely acting instinctively, the art of reflection was born. That meant we, unlike most other animals (and vegetative life), could actually think about our thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s like we became the eyes of the universe through which it was looking at itself. This was the birth of mind, with which arose the realms of reflection, intellect, dream, imagination, and fantasy.
Mind: Beyond The Known. Image: Activedia
But instead of developing mind to its fullest capacity, the west became afraid of it when dreams and fantasies turned into nightmares. Subsequently mind got hijacked by exactly that institution designated for its development: religion. For even though in their esotericism Roman Catholicism, Christianity and Islam, resemble the religions of Asia, Africa and the Americas in many remarkable ways, in terms of organizational structure they resemble the hierarchy of a medieval kingdom or current nation state – complete with propaganda, oppression and punishments for those who won’t play by their rules. They’ve essentially become political organizations with similar goals: power and the biggest chunk of wealth for the top dogs. And that means for the majority of people that they are merely allowed to utilize their minds (and bodies) solely for the benefit of whoever is in charge.
People in charge never want a population able of critical thinking, because as soon as we know that we’re being oppressed and abused like cattle, no one in their right would want to stay in such a situation. Yet the inevitable result of such an attitude is that both the leaders and the populace are locked in a deadly grip of anxiety; for those in charge are always anxious for an uprising and will do anything in their power to keep that from happening, and the rest lives in continuous anxiety of not being thrown out of the group and losing its livelihood. This is an accurate image of the current situation in the western world, where everyone is keeping everyone in a tight anxiety deadlock – a situation which has pretty much existed since the Roman Empire, and accelerated dramatically since the onset of the industrial revolution.[2]
Now thinking – intellect – is an important problem solving function of mind and is predominantly engaged with the external world, but it’s far from its only function. Mind regulates all the bodily processes we hardly ever think about, but keep us going none the less. Mind makes dreams, reflects on the past, imagines the future, feeds intuition, transcends the physical realm, and can make us experience oneness with our fellow human beings and the universe at large – and that’s merely a couple of functions we know about!
Mind, The Final Frontier. Image: Alexmogopro
Yet somewhere in the development of mind we chose to concentrate solely on developing our intellect, with which we could manipulate the world outside of ourselves; but somehow the development of becoming knowledgeable about our internal world practically came to a standstill.[3] In the west we have, in other words, developed technologically & materialistically to unprecedented highs, but spiritually, emotionally & morally we stopped developing around the age of a toddler. Practically that means the most sophisticated technological devices and weaponry are being handled by people with an overdeveloped intellect, but with the spiritual, emotional & moral – hence human – skills of a two year old. It’s exactly for this reason why the little boy is convinced he’s doing the right thing by tearing off the grasshoppers legs, and why certain groups and individuals are convinced that everyone else should abide by their rules – no matter the cost or consequences.
The east, by contrast, went in the opposite direction. Their technological developments cannot match those of the west, but their spiritual developments are far more advanced, hence the collective emotional anxiety in the west is unheard of in the east. That is because the east understands that peace of mind and acceptance of life as it is in its totality, can only be found within oneself.
Generally speaking; Hindus attempt to transcend the earthly valley of tears; Buddhists find the divine in ordinary, everyday life; and Taoists view us equally among all living beings as a part of Nature. Yet what they all understand is that they need to become knowledgeable about our internal world in order to attain their spiritual goals and hence be an active and meaningful part of life as a whole. One of their most important realizations is the fact that everything is in continuous change, and the more we try to resist it, the more we suffer.
So if the diagnosis for our inability to think, feel and act reasonably and in a human fashion, lies in the imbalance between an overdeveloped knowledge of our external world (intellectual/material) and underdeveloped knowledge of our internal world (emotional/spiritual), the prescription seems obvious: relax on developing knowledge about our external world, and accelerate on developing knowledge about our internal world.
Yet nothing of a kind seems to be happening in the west. Technological advancements follow each other in rapid succession, and in most western oriented countries education is mostly oriented on knowing the outside world (education of which the general quality appears to worsen). Furthermore higher education becomes less and less accessible for a rapidly growing number of students. These observations are an adequate indication that the powers that be are only interested in breeding one type of humans: obedient workers.[4] That statement is reinforced by the fact that no single western state or society has ever provided education for all ages, which would be a true sign of an enlightened society: a place where people would be stimulated to keep developing themselves throughout their lives, instead of merely stimulating them into buying more stuff or convincing (or forcing) them into waging senseless wars.[5]
Nevertheless, every society is ultimately made up of individual people and simultaneous with the development of mind arose the development of personal choice. That means each and every one of us has the ability to choose to stay in a poisonous situation or step out of it. However, the ability to choose requires a matured spiritual, emotional, and moral development, which is obviously something a toddler lacks. A toddler is by default still completely dependent on its environment, and is therefore incapable of making a mature, well informed, and free decision about anything. Therefore most western adults, having never passed the toddler stage when it comes to spiritual, emotional, and moral development, will always feel trapped in situations they find themselves in as adults. If they’re lucky, it’s a situation that’s both physically and mentally stimulating. Yet the reality for most is to be trapped either in a completely numbing workplace, a sterile marriage, or both, or worse.
Be all that as it may, there is a good chance that at some point in life many of us actually get the ‘philosophical itch’ by which we begin to wonder: Is this really all there is to life? Am I really happy or am I merely saying I’m happy because that’s what’s expected of me? How do I know if and when I’m using the talents of my particular body and mind? How can I find out what stimulates me and what numbs me? Why does my environment find it difficult when I’m sad or angry? Do I find others difficult when they are sad or angry? How many opinions have I obtained through study or experience and how many were spoon-fed by my environment while growing up? And if there are not many I’ve obtained through study or experience, meaning that most of my opinions are not my own, who’s life am I actually living then?
“Is this all there is to life?” The philosophical itch emerges. Image: StockSnap
When that philosophical itch gets a hold of us, we can decide to follow up on it by becoming interested in obtaining knowledge about our internal world – our own mind and body. Then questions like, ‘Why do I think what I think, feel what I feel, and do what I do?’ become interesting, and the answers to them can only be found when we begin to thoroughly study ourselves. But how to do that without any experience? Here are a few tips to get started.
In my opinion, a few of the most revealing and fun sources of information on human thought, feeling (emotions) and behaviour are myths, legends and fairy & folk tales. No stuffy psychology textbook provides more information on our deeply hidden motivations and daily conduct than the stories from these realms, and I’m quite sure that we recognize either ourselves or others in many of their characters. Particularly the recognition with ourselves is crucial, because all of a sudden a feeling of fellowship arises which tells us that we’re not alone. Obviously there are others like us, with similar problems, misfortunes, mishaps or rascalities.
Many archetypal characters are to be found in myths, legends and fairy tales. Image: KELLEPICS
Furthermore we can learn from those stories how the characters feel about different situations, and how they deal with them. From there we can begin to investigate how we ourselves feel when our buttons get pushed, which means learning to locate where in our bodies those feelings emerge, and describing what it is that we feel. Subsequently we can assess how we usually deal with difficult situations, and ask ourselves if that is actually the way we want to deal with them.[6]
Naturally there are myriad other ways in order to obtain knowledge about our internal world. The main function of the arts and literature is predominantly to open our minds to different perspectives. Participating in music, dance, writing, drawing/painting, or drama, increases our self-knowledge by means of expression. Physical skills like yoga, qigong and various martial arts offer ways of putting the spotlight on our own body and mind via exploration of our physical (and hence mental) limits. And if we feel to be in need of talking to someone about our current state, there are countless therapists in the psychological and psychosomatic realm offering their services to help us get started.
Whatever manner we choose to increase knowledge of our internal world, it only works if we make that decision completely by ourselves. By doing so however, there is a chance that loved ones won’t understand our ‘U-turn’ and react negatively. Therefore at first sight this path might appear desolate and lonely, but nothing could be further from the truth. For whereas at the heart of our collective suffering lies a deeply cultivated loathing of ourselves, by putting the spotlight on us we open the door to start making peace with ourselves. And when compassion with our self emerges, that is extended by default to compassion with others. Not for nothing is it written in the Tao Te Ching: “Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.”
Jolly Exploring,
Erik Stout
[1] ‘Another’ being a person, family, company, sports club, school, university, NGO, country, the world, nature, the universe, etc.
[2] With very few exceptions when enlightened leaders were at the helm.
[3] That is why IQ tests are basically worthless, because they only provide information on someone’s problem solving skills, but say nothing about one’s skills in the fields of communication, co-operation, intuition, sensitivity, emotionality, or humanity.
[4] As George Carlin already noticed decades ago.
[5] Further reading on this: The Sane Society by Erich Fromm.
[6] In this blogpost you can find my Five Questions for Self-Examination©, which can be used as a guideline to find patterns in our thinking, feeling and acting when our buttons get pushed.